Customer reviews for Borshtch N'tears

Rating: 2 2 7 = 3/10

"Borscht" means cabbage soup and "tears" are often associated with misery.  WELL CABBAGE SOUP 'N' MISERY ARE PERFECT WORDS TO SUMMARISE THIS RESTAURANT.
My friend booked a table for 8pm for 10 people for his birthday yesterday.  When we arrived the manageress told us there was a problem: our party of 10 could not be accommodated together because part of our table was needed for a hen party.  We were given 2 options: split the group up for the time being or wait in the basement bar until a table was ready for us.  At no point did the manageress apologise for double-booking the table or offer us complimentary drinks while we waited: in fact we were told we had arrived half an hour too early, that the restaurant was doing its best to accommodate us and that we were being unreasonable.  We should have left there and then, but how difficult would it be to find another restaurant with a capacity for 10 people without a reservation on a Saturday night in London?  We had no choice but to stay.

Eventually we were given free vodka shots (this hospitality was demanded, not freely given) in the basement bar and apologised to by one of the bar staff, but not before another of the bar staff had told my boyfriend "if you caused this much trouble in the country I'm from, you'd be dead by now".  Nothing like a death threat to cheer you up when you're down!  We were invited to take a seat in the bar but there were only 3 available seats for our party of 10.  One of the more intrepid members of our group stumbled upon a totally unheated, entirely unlit cavern at the back of the bar, which he explored Indiana Jones-style.  He needed to use his lighter to illuminate the way, as it was totally pitch black.  It was the only space big enough for our group so we had to scrabble about in the dark for candles (we found 3) and huddled together for warmth until our table was ready at 9.15pm (so there's no way we were half an hour early at 8pm, because if we'd arrived at 8.30 there still would have been no table for us).  When the food arrived it was mostly OK and quite tasty, although rice was missing from my friend's meal and my salmon en croute was completely frozen in the middle and I had to send it back.  The waitress apologised and gave me a free glass of white wine (the whole table was drinking red, but by that point I didn't care).  When the salmon en croute came back it was tasty but nowhere near worth 10 pounds - you could buy the same thing in Asda for 3 pounds and would receive a larger portion with more salmon.  Maybe they inflated the prices to cover the cost of the live Polish singing, although a waitress had the audacity to come round with a begging bowl demanding that we "pay our respects to the musicians".  I had nothing against the musicians - in fact they were quite entertaining and they did sing "Happy Birthday" to my friend on request - but I did object to a waitress in a restaurant that had treated us like dirt begging for extra money.  If the musicians had to be funded by our tips they should be called "buskers" not "entertainers".  In principle, the evening could have been great, but for customers to come away feeling worthier emotions than humiliation and degradation, the manageress and some of her staff would need to go on courses to instruct them in managing multiple bookings, heating food properly and, most fundamentally, in learning basic Western diplomacy.

Rating: 8 8 9 = 8/10

I'm not a connoisseur of Russian cuisine but I thought this place was great.  The food is really interesting, tasty and reasonably priced.  The place has a great atmosphere - darkly lit, red decor, and live Russian music: what more do you want?  Definitely worth a try.